Parenting and Growing Up in a "Once Asian Household"

Vincent (Tuong Le)
ASA002-A02
Response 9: "Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior" and "Why I love my strict Chinese mom"

These articles were interesting for me to read because while I feel that I was originally raised by the stereotypical "strict Asian parents," my own parents eventually gave up on that model of parenting and were more relaxed about things. Perhaps this was due to my grades still being decent despite my behavior (or the fact that I was never the best of the best, so I couldn't be number 1 anyway.) Reading these articles honestly makes me feel like I haven't been trying hard enough in life, which is a bit disappointing. It brings me back to how I felt getting into Davis, but not Berkeley. I thought to myself if only I worked harder. Unreasonably, I also thought to myself that I wished my parents had pushed me more and been strict Asian parents. I came to my own conclusion that I couldn't blame them for that; it was my fault for not working harder in high school.

I find it strange because I was so willing to criticize the Asian model of parenting my entire life as I grew up, but now that I'm a few years older, I find the push to be appealing. I think it might just be that at this point of my life, I wish I had a harder push, a stronger sense of drive and motivation. Perhaps if I were as driven as I wanted to be now, I wouldn't feel this way. But as is, I view the push of "Asian tiger moms" as appealing and beneficial to the success of their children. It doesn't help that one of my close friends was "pushed" into being a great artist and a successful student at Berkeley. (Am I jealous? Maybe a little, her art is amazing.)

Q: What are some of the more negative effects of strict parenting? I've had a relative form excessive stress and a mental disorder from being pushed too hard by her parents (probably along with other factors), so I know it is possible, but I'm also unsure how much of just told to me without scientific research.

I found this image interesting. However, it could be skewed a bit from how many more "White" students are at college compared to some of the other students, though that doesn't explain the low rates of scholarships for "Asians."