Who's the victim here?

Jacky Sam
A02
Response 4: "White Privilege and Male Privilege"

Peggy McIntosh's "White Privilege and Male Privilege" elucidates the interrelation of white privilege to male privilege through her personal experiences in Women's Studies. She lists forty-six conditions in which she feels that every individual is entitled to, not earned, through birth, citizenship, and just by being a "normal" being. I would like elaborate more on condition #34 because it is part of the reason why men and white people are oblivious to the privilege that they have. Condition #34 states: "I can worry about racism without being seen as self-interested or self-seeking." Men do not acknowledge that they are privileged in society just as whites don't recognize their high status because they view victims of sexism and racism as self-interested and self-seeking, or at least that is what they have been "taught" to see.  

With that view on sexism and racism embedded into their mindsets, it is difficult for men and whites to see themselves as the only oppressors. In one of my arguments for the SCA 5 Opinion Paper, I mentioned reverse discrimination in which a Caucasian student, who excels in academics, is denied a spot at a university in order to be fair to an Asian student, who achieves average. Applying this to the case of white privilege and male privilege, what if men see that they have also earned their positions regardless of any privilege and are not willing to give it up for someone who is seen as the victim?

Question: What draws the line between being a victim and being an oppressor?