Mariah Viktoria Candelaria
ASA2, A01 (Vrindavani)
Week 6
Professor Valverde talked a lot this week about the prevalence of tiger moms in the Asian American community - more specifically, the East Asian community. As a Pinay, I never really experienced the firsthand consequences of such an uptight form of parenting, but growing up, I did experience some different forms of restriction and expectations due to my gender.
I am the oldest girl in a family of 4 siblings. My two older brothers, with age gaps of 5 and 2 years older than me, had a very different experience than myself when we were growing up. As women are commonly seen as the one responsible for domestic duties, my mother and father expected me to be dutiful in household chores. I was expected to clean, wash dishes, cook, do laundry, all while balancing a large load of classes and extracurricular activities while my brothers were scraping by in school and the only activities they did were through video games. In addition, I was kept under a strict curfew and given limited opportunities to go out or hang out with friends while my brothers had no curfew and did not need to give any notice if they wanted to go out.
At first, my parents argued that it was my age but once I reached the same age they were when they were given such liberties, the restrictions became too much and caused a falling out between us. As a rebellious child by nature, I was not going to let gender politics dictate my freedom - although, I do wish I listened to my parents more on certain things.
As I got older and more mature (I think), my relationship with my parents changed. I had to understand that there are cultural and religious forces that have influenced my parents’ gendered parenting style. As they got older, they also tried to meet me halfway and understand my struggles as well. They were significantly less strict with my younger sister as a result so I like to believe they realized the disparages between their treatment of my brothers and myself. Even now, however, I am still expected to carry out many household chores that my older brothers are still not required but this is mostly due to my sympathy for my mom and my desire for her to relax and rest after already doing so much for us. I’m always the voice of reason in my family and call out my brothers when they’re being lazy sacks of testosterone and need to know that their behavior is unacceptable and sad for their age.
References
Valverde, K.L.C. (2019). Fight the Tower: Asian American Women Scholars’ Resistance and Renewal in the Academy. Retrieved from https://online.vitalsource.com/#/books/9781978806405/cfi/4!/4/4@0.00:23.2
Unknown. (n.d.) Retrieved from https://pics.me.me/mehru-mehrunisc-the-most-oppressed-n-depressed-child-is-the-41488728.png
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