A Silenced Death
The writer repeatedly says that "I'm one of them." Through this solemn confession of admitting conformity, passiveness, and guilt, the writer signifies a newfound sense of growth and transformation of their actions. With the stanza that begins with "Yet," there is a noticeable shift that indicates the writers change from acknowledgment to actionable steps moving forward. With that being said, I also become more curious as to what weight is still held in "I'm one of them." Who is included in "them?" Institutions? Everyone? No one? Just the writer? Does this include Soek-Fang herself?
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The entities surrounding Soek-Fang Sim impose a wave that goes inherently against supporting womxn of color in academia; these materialize into realities that translates a multi-faceted shock that affects them: mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually. It could be one of these or even a combination of these that manage to capitalize on womxn of color scholars until they are essentially sucked dry to the bone. Creating mindsets that the writer admitted to having of Soek-Fang Sim themselves, also shows an internal structure meant to rupture and weaken support systems from being able to build community and a culture of resistance and empathy. Although she had died as the hands of breast cancer, perhaps the stress, burdens and lack of support from the institutions in her environment worsened her health or served as a catalyst towards her death. Her physical being failed her with a broken down will. When "she didn't pass the review," perhaps her confidence, academic and social life died as well along with her physical body. The institutions being against her is a given. It should not be, but that's the way it is. If it can be radically changed, then amazing and I am all for it but in this present, during this time, it is unfortunately so embedded it is a reality we do not have to accept, but one that we must acknowledge. Institutions of this stature is known, and even more so the higher one goes into academia as a POC womxn. But her resistance to death potentially seems to be because her community support system became just as institutionalized. Her death shows in many ways, and in many ways, she died. Does the emotional labor imposed on womxn, have a direct correlation to their holistic physical health?
References
W.P. (2013). Fight the Tower: Asian American Women Scholars' Resistance and Renewal in the Academy: "Who Killed Soek-Fang Sim?" Rutgers University Press.
Rubinstein, S. (2013, February 15). "English professor brings discrimination suit" The Mac Weekly. Retrieved April 19, 2020, https://themacweekly.com/25/news/english-professor-brings-discrimination-suit/#photo.
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