Jessie Benedict, A01, Week 5

Out of all the readings this week, "An offering: Healing the Wounds and Ruptures of Graduate School" by Cindy Nhi Huynh intrigued me the most. She summarizes the experience of pursuing her doctorate in 5 stages - Wreckage, Bleeding Out, Cleaning the Wound, (Ad)dressing the Wound, and Scar Tissue. In Bleeding Out, Huynh recounts her struggle to find someone who could support her and her research. Stress and exhaustion from this process took a toll on her writing, which only led to further deterioration of her mental and physical health. For some time, she was in denial that she was suffering under the academy. I believe that it was really hard for her to admit that the academy, which she admired initially, could have such a detrimental impact on her health.

The academy is regarded as “a space of intellectual rigor and freedom” (Valverde & Dariotis, 222) and many enter it in hopes of obtaining opportunities. It’s unfortunate that it is also “a space of hostility, alienation, discrimination, and disinvestment for women of color” (Valverde & Dariotis, 222). When people in academia realize this conflict, they could feel frustrated, confused and discouraged. Not knowing how to deal with this realization, it’s sometimes easier to continue holding the academy up on a pedestal and ignoring the reality. However, when you push away the frustrations and disappointment that comes from the constant battle between expectation and reality, these emotions start to build up and affect your health. As difficult as it is, it is better to come to terms with reality, and take steps to move on from it, focusing on yourself even if it means distancing yourself from the academy. Your health is the most important, and your commitment over the academy should not take priority over that. There is a need for the academy to realize how they are harming their students and colleagues and to start taking care of them.

Question: Would it be better if the academy were honest about their strengths and weaknesses, rather than portraying themselves as a place of hope and freedom to people wanting to enter academia?

References:

Valverde, K.-L. C., & Dariotis, W. M. (2020). Fight the tower: Asian American women scholars resistance and renewal in the academy. New Brunswick, NJ: Rutgers University Press.

Image: Bairzin, J. D., Freeman, D., Carpio, A. del, Lieb, A., Hayley, Nguyen, D. H., … Ob. (2017, June 1). This is your mind on grad school. Retrieved from https://berkeleysciencereview.com/article/mind-grad-school/