Week 3_Emerald Vang_A03

As a Hmong American woman, I relate to Manee Moua in many ways. Reading Navigating Graduate Education as  First-Generation, Hmong American Woman: An Autoethnography has allowed me to see the way society actually looks than how I have perceived it. It is not that all Asians are model minorities, it is that only those who were able to be successful as a majority ethnicity are model minorities. I used to believe that I was doing just as well as other Asian American families. That I was a bit more privileged than others. While that may be true in some aspect, I now see that Asian Americans and women around me are much more successful than I am. That they have had more opportunities to browse because they are of a certain Asian ethnic group. Going to an Asian diverse high school, I saw a lot of the more oppressed Asians. As I see it, Hmong, Khmer, Karen, and etc are less privileged than Chinese, Korean, and Vietnamese Americans. I believe that these types of social differences are always debunked because of the ignorance that society can not see through.

The most that I can relate to Moua about is the cultural expectations placed upon Hmong women. Just as she said, Hmong women are expected to be molded into the perfect wife and daughter-in-law. I was always forced and trained above my own will to do more than my brothers whether they were older or younger. I never really retaliated because I knew it was a way of my culture and the training was pounded into me at a very young age. What I did not notice was how I developed that same imposter syndrome. Moua defined it to be "self-percieved feelings of fake... intellectual identity in academic and high achieving environments, often present with... fear of being revealed even if one has proven their intellectual abilities" (pg. 14). I had a lot of insecurities regarding my intelligence because of the way I had to uphold a certain persona of a Hmong woman. I also went through the act of working hard for something without realizing the non-benefits it would bring me. I worked hard in doing whatever and never spoke out because it was "okay." I let this happen with many of my relationships be it family, friendship, and education. My friends were able to see this problem and helped me change it. With the expectations of my parents and my culture traditions I developed, what people would see as, an obedient and kind personality that I have never been able to dispose of even to this day; However, as America has become more modern, my parents have as well. Entering college, they slowly learned to abide by my wishes of being my own person and doing what I want without having them speak against it. I was able to pursue an art education instead of the typical medical path. I'm still learning to break out from the areas of my culture that has oppressed me as I attend college.

How can Hmong Americans start changing traditions without disrespecting ancestors and elders?

Reference:

• Moua, M.(N/A). Navigating Graduate Education as a First-Generation, Hmong American Woman: An Auto-ethnography. Hmong Studies Journal, vol 19(1): 1-25.
• (Hmong story cloth.). Retrieved from      https://zolachao.wordpress.com/2013/11/12/workshop-sea-timeline/