Saturday, May 25, 2013

Reading Reflections #9: I Don’t Love my Father


In response to: “Why Chinese Mothers are Superior” by Amy Chua and “Why I love my Strict Chinese Parents” by Sophia Chua-Rubenfeld
            I’ve read this article at least half a dozen times and I still don’t know how I feel about the whole subject of Tiger moms/Eagle dads. Everything Chua says makes perfect sense to me. How western parents are hyper sensitive about their children’s self esteem, or how Chinese parents just want the best for their children. From Sophia’s letter it’s obvious that Chua isn’t an evil parent. Chua clearly cares and loves her daughters. And any “cruel” methods she uses are used out of love.

            But then I look back at my childhood. I have an Eagle dad (the male counterpart to Tiger moms). I remember when I was a kid, he would make my brothers and I memorize parts of the dictionary. He’d give us sections of dictionaries and expect us to know how to spell and the meanings of each and every word. We had from the time we got home from school to the time he got home from work to memorize pages and pages of words. He would then quiz us. If we got any wrong, we had to go back and study more. We weren’t allowed to stop until he was satisfied. More than once, I stayed up well into the morning memorizing.
            Unlike Sophia, I don’t appreciate what my father did. I honestly have not benefited from this. I don’t know the meanings to a lot of words and I still suck at spelling. Heck, I can’t even look at a dictionary without cringing anymore. Having him yell at me for being “stupid” totally damaged my self esteem. Quite frankly, I don’t think my father was doing any of this out of love. I truly believe he wanted my brothers and I to succeed so he could look good when compared to his siblings. Now, I don’t think I can honestly say I love my dad. I don’t think my brothers can either.

Was either of your parents tyrannical dictators that expected nothing but perfection from you?
If so, do you appreciate what they did or not?
Linda Wei
Section A01

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