Jacky Sam

A02

Response 10: "Angry Little Asian Girl"

I can mostly relate to "Nobody" because I had the same thoughts and feelings as the angry little Asian girl. My mom had always compared me to someone else, saying things like "You will not be as good as them, if you don't do this or that" and constantly pointing out all my "flaws." I guess the only reason she would compare me to someone else is because she believes that I can be better than them and all I had to do was prove it. Even if I had already tried my best or gotten 100% on a test, she would still criticize me. This connects to "Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior" by Amy Chua, which states that Western mothers would compliment their children even if they did not try their best on a test, while Chinese mothers would ask what had went wrong. I guess this was my mother's and all other Chinese mothers' way of pushing their children to improve themselves.

 I believe I became a sensitive person because of the hurtful words my mom had said to me. Unlike the angry little Asian girl, I was not able to tune out the things my mom said as indicated by "Blah! Blah! Blah!" in some of her mom's dialogue. However, my mother never went as far as saying "You ugly. That why you have no friend." If it had to be one thing that my mom really cared about, it would have to be my well-being, which is kind of cliché but absolutely true. I have already put some of these things behind me because I suppose all Asian moms can be rough like this, so it's best not to take it too personal. 

Question: I remember when I was younger that I said I would be a better mom than my mom ever was. Some of you guys might even agree, so what are some things that you would keep or what are some things that you would absolutely change in parenting style?