Week 2 - Kevin Mo

Kevin Mo

Section A02

Week 2

Beyond Tiger Mom Anxiety: Ethnic, Gender and Generational Differences in Asian American College Access and Choices by OiYan Poon and Ajani Byrd is an almost mirror image of my childhood. Growing up with Asian parents is almost like living in a dictatorship. Their word is law and decisions are final; talking back means a swift backhand. This sounds cruel, but in a way, I am appreciative of the way they raised me because although others may not understand, my parents showed me true love despite their strictness. This methodology enforces high standards without the possibility for failure which pushed me to strive for nothing less than greatness. However, I did not understand this concept as I transitioned into adulthood. During some periods, I went into stages of depression and hopelessness to the point where I considered running away. The Tiger Mom mentality is a risky one; push too hard and you can push your children away from you. My parents believe in a balance of extreme strictness where it mattered but still encourage a close family mentality by spending time with us. From my experience, the biggest downside of this way of parenting is that it excludes children from common experiences that many other children get without a tiger mom since it prioritizes school over other amenities. The result is that once the kids are released from the supervision of the parents, for example at college, they realize that there is a life of freedom they were deprived of and lose control of their impulses by trying all the new things that other kids have already had a chance to experience. This leads to many Asian American students getting into drugs and alcohol once they get to college instead of focusing on school as they had before. I believe the ideal parenting style is a mix of Tiger Mom and Cool Mom so that kids understand the importance of priorities while still having a good foundation.

Question: What percentage of Tiger Mom vs “Cool” Mom is ideal for raising well-rounded kids? 50-50? 70-30?

References:

1. Poon, O. & Byrd, A.  (2013). Beyond Tiger Mom Anxiety: Ethnic, Gender and Generational Differences in Asian American College Access and Choices. Journal of College Admissions, 2013. Retrieved October 6, 2017
2. Fresh Off the Boat. (n.d.) Retrieved October 6, 2017, from https://www.thecut.com/2016/10/i-survived-a-tiger-mom.html